Lady Case #44: Lady Video

[19centconstable]

[There's a woman in George's room. She's stocky, and her dark hair is gathered in a bun at the nape of her neck. From the front it looks short and boyish, and her face looks freshly scrubbed. She's dressed in a white high-necked Victorian blouse, a tie, a navy blue jacket, and a floor length navy blue walking skirt. And she's George, of course. Short for Georgina, although she's most comfortable being addressed as Miss Crabtree.

Some of you may be wondering why Miss Crabtree isn't suffering any of the wardrobe malfunctions that seem to be going around. Some of you clearly aren't aware just how seriously Mr. Crabtree takes undercover work. Now you know.]

Here is what I have gathered thus far: several people appear to be missing clothing, and I've spoken to one who seems to be missing memories. Is anyone aware of anything else having gone missing? And if so, a detailed description would be most helpful.

[Please, don't everyone rush to describe your penises.]

Furthermore: after Captain von Uberwald mistakenly called me a constable, I looked in my own wardrobe and found it nearly all replaced by a constable's uniform. Could it be that, somehow, saying things during this flood makes them become reality?

[George presses her lips together tightly.]

I don't know that I ought to say anything else lest...well, you know!

Comments

[19centconstable]

Then that certainly explains it. Perhaps we all ought to communicate only by gestures before anyone makes things worse.

[scentbombed]

It's a swapping flood, George. Ina. We've all just switched.

[19centconstable]

Please, Captain: I feel quite certain I'd have realized if I had become a man.

[scentbombed]

You are a man, man! I'm the woman. Here, look-- [Oh, damn, Arthas has her breastplate.] Well... right, what's my first name?

[19centconstable]

Captain.

[scentbombed]

...my name is Captain Captain von Uberwald?

[19centconstable]

I had always thought it was a traditional werewolf name.

[Like naming a dog 'Sarge'.]

[scentbombed]

...Okay, to be fair, my brother managed to be named Wolfgang. [Doomed from the start, he was.] But my name is Angua, George. Ina.

[19centconstable]

Precisely.

Who is this 'Ina'?

[scentbombed]

Aren't you supposed to be? Georgina, I mean.

[19centconstable]

Oh. Yes, but everyone calls me George, really. They always have done. I suppose it's because I've always been a bit unlady-like.

[scentbombed]

Of course.

[Well, if she's this committed, no point in pushing the issue, he supposes... Although just as he's about to leave it, something occurs to him.] What's your dog's name?

[19centconstable]

Her name is Violet. Why?

[scentbombed]

So you're a woman, I'm a man, but your dog is still a female?

[19centconstable]

Well, yes. Just as we all always have been. She'd be very pleased you remembered her, if she were here.

[scentbombed]

... All right. [Well, that's weird as hell.]

[19centconstable]

Even if I had become a man, as you seem to be implying, why would that mean my dog would do so as well?

[scentbombed]

I don't know. You seem to remember me as a man, even though I'm not. I wanted to see how far it had gone. [Rule63ception?]

[19centconstable]

...You aren't a man?

[scentbombed]

Well, I am right at this moment, yes.

[19centconstable]

You're quite sure? You've...checked thoroughly?

[scentbombed]

What sort of checking do you expect needs to be done, George?

[19centconstable]

Well I'm sure I wouldn't know. About that sort of thing.

[scentbombed]

You seemed to, just now.

[19centconstable]

I'm sure I didn't. I just meant: in the bath. ...But I'm sure I didn't!