Lady Case #44: Lady Video

[19centconstable]

[There's a woman in George's room. She's stocky, and her dark hair is gathered in a bun at the nape of her neck. From the front it looks short and boyish, and her face looks freshly scrubbed. She's dressed in a white high-necked Victorian blouse, a tie, a navy blue jacket, and a floor length navy blue walking skirt. And she's George, of course. Short for Georgina, although she's most comfortable being addressed as Miss Crabtree.

Some of you may be wondering why Miss Crabtree isn't suffering any of the wardrobe malfunctions that seem to be going around. Some of you clearly aren't aware just how seriously Mr. Crabtree takes undercover work. Now you know.]

Here is what I have gathered thus far: several people appear to be missing clothing, and I've spoken to one who seems to be missing memories. Is anyone aware of anything else having gone missing? And if so, a detailed description would be most helpful.

[Please, don't everyone rush to describe your penises.]

Furthermore: after Captain von Uberwald mistakenly called me a constable, I looked in my own wardrobe and found it nearly all replaced by a constable's uniform. Could it be that, somehow, saying things during this flood makes them become reality?

[George presses her lips together tightly.]

I don't know that I ought to say anything else lest...well, you know!

Comments

[19centconstable]

Am I a good Constable, at least? I've always felt that I would be, if women were allowed. I think I could even pass the vigorousness exam.

[scentbombed]

The vigorousness exam. [Angua attempts to imagine forcing a vigorousness exam on the current Watch population and barely avoids the resulting brain meltdown. He blinks away his glassy-eyed stare.]

Er, I don't really know. I've never actually seen you do any police work. You're a good warden, though.

[19centconstable]

I believe it's mainly running.

I'm pleased to hear that as well.

[scentbombed]

Are you doing all right with... Mark... with all this? [Hoffman has become Angua's most convenient subject-changer. Thanks, Hoffman!]

[19centconstable]

...Do you mean Miss Hoffman?

[scentbombed]

Apparently, I do.

[19centconstable]

She's a bit upset over having gotten her clothes stolen, which I think is understandable. One's room and the items in it are very personal.

[scentbombed]

[Angua is starting to get the distinct feeling that the rest of this conversation is just going to keep progressing along similar lines, and so...] Of course. Well, George, carry on. Good luck. [He has to go beat his head against the wall a few times.]

[19centconstable]

And you as well, Captain. Whatever way this all turns out.