19centconstable: (It's always time for Mustache Time.)
Constable George Crabtree ([personal profile] 19centconstable) wrote2011-11-28 10:36 pm

Case #33: Video

[George is wearing one of his fake mustaches and having a tea. There's a smattering of fairies fairy-ing around on the table in front of him: eating the biscuits, the sugar, also having tea... There are also several flying through the air around him. Some of these fairies are wearing George's other fake mustaches, despite the fact that the mustaches are in some cases larger than they are, and they resemble nothing so much as flying mustaches. The flying mustaches in particular don't seem very steady, but all of the fairies seem a little tipsy.]

I just don't see what all the complaining is about: we've been having a lovely time.

[George takes another sip of his "tea".]

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:02 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not...

[Georges are bigger than fairies. Also, and George will never admit this, but: he's probably a little Irish. A mustache weaves toward George's ear, and he leans in to hear what it's saying.]

They say they would rather like some pie.

[There's a round of fairy cheering.]

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
Pass me a couple of those bottles and they can have all the pie that they want.

[staaaare]

...no-no. it-

Are you saying that if I come to you they might like, stop flinging pies?

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
Oh! I hadn't thought of that, but I suppose they might.

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
You said they want pie.

[he pauses and rubs at his eye.]

.....Are you sure you're not drunk?

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:45 am (UTC)(link)
No, they said that.

Quite sure. Why? Is it the mustache?

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:46 am (UTC)(link)
...I didn't even notice the mustache. When the fuck did you grow a mustache?


...It looks good on you.

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:48 am (UTC)(link)
It isn't real, but I think so too.

Re: [Video]

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 04:58 am (UTC)(link)
Why do you own fake mustaches.

[Video] where are you on aiiimm.

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
[Undercover and George Crabtree. The two do not go together. Hence Hoffman raising an eyebrow at this thought and somehow-despite being covered in pie, looking skeptical]

....Really?

[Video] I'm signed on

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 05:44 am (UTC)(link)
Yes.

[George is quite good at undercoverwork, because he's average looking.]

Re: [Video] I'm signed on

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 05:56 am (UTC)(link)
[Hoffman is about to respond before a pie comes out of nowhere to hit him in the face. some of it goes into his mouth. This time, he swallows most of it by force and has to cough.]

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 06:07 am (UTC)(link)
[He spits out a few pieces] yes.

[pth. pth.]

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
You know what this shows? This shows that even when you do the right thing you still get fucked over.

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 06:45 am (UTC)(link)
I accidentally killed one. One.

And this happens. [He picks off a slice of apple]

Edited 2011-11-29 06:45 (UTC)

[identity profile] 19centconstable.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 06:47 am (UTC)(link)
Then I would say this shows that every single life is important, no matter the size.

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
.......

Are you Yoda? Like secretly? Are you a fucking...puppet made by Jim Hensen? [His tone is snappish, angry] You're a...a...

[identity profile] expectremorse.livejournal.com 2011-11-29 07:01 am (UTC)(link)
..........It was an accident.

[He picks out the first pixie.] An accident! all right? An accident! It was a god-damned accident! I'm sorry already!

[It's just blurted out, but the pixies....drop a pie. Except this pie is dark red. The other one was soft and brown with cinnamon and this one is red.


He sits back, stunned. Then raises a hand to his head and tentatively licks it.]


[He's quiet]