19centconstable | Case #33: Video

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Case #33: Video

[George is wearing one of his fake mustaches and having a tea. There's a smattering of fairies fairy-ing around on the table in front of him: eating the biscuits, the sugar, also having tea... There are also several flying through the air around him. Some of these fairies are wearing George's other fake mustaches, despite the fact that the mustaches are in some cases larger than they are, and they resemble nothing so much as flying mustaches. The flying mustaches in particular don't seem very steady, but all of the fairies seem a little tipsy.]

I just don't see what all the complaining is about: we've been having a lovely time.

[George takes another sip of his "tea".]

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[Hoffman is...drenched in pie.]

.....Shut up. Just shut the fuck up.

Ah. Still the pies, eh?

[Another one appears like a bad Tom and Jerry skit. Hoffman looks ready to cry.]

I hate apples.

Really? I think they're delicious.

[Hoffman wipes cinnamon out of his eyes] I hate cinnamon. I hate apples. I hate apple pie. It's too wholesome, It's too fucking common, it's too fucking bitter.

How the hell are you so goddamn happy?

I must admit I do hold rhubarb in slightly higher esteem.

We may have gotten into a bit Mr. Wooster's private stock which he left to me.

You're drunk?

[Incredulous.]

...Can I join you?

[surely this will be a cure for being covered in sticky pie.]

I'm not...

[Georges are bigger than fairies. Also, and George will never admit this, but: he's probably a little Irish. A mustache weaves toward George's ear, and he leans in to hear what it's saying.]

They say they would rather like some pie.

[There's a round of fairy cheering.]

Pass me a couple of those bottles and they can have all the pie that they want.

[staaaare]

...no-no. it-

Are you saying that if I come to you they might like, stop flinging pies?

Oh! I hadn't thought of that, but I suppose they might.

You said they want pie.

[he pauses and rubs at his eye.]

.....Are you sure you're not drunk?

No, they said that.

Quite sure. Why? Is it the mustache?

...I didn't even notice the mustache. When the fuck did you grow a mustache?

...It looks good on you.

It isn't real, but I think so too.

Why do you own fake mustaches.

Undercover work.

[Undercover and George Crabtree. The two do not go together. Hence Hoffman raising an eyebrow at this thought and somehow-despite being covered in pie, looking skeptical]

....Really?

Yes.

[George is quite good at undercoverwork, because he's average looking.]

[Hoffman is about to respond before a pie comes out of nowhere to hit him in the face. some of it goes into his mouth. This time, he swallows most of it by force and has to cough.]

Was that apple as well?

[He spits out a few pieces] yes.

[pth. pth.]

I'm sorry.

You know what this shows? This shows that even when you do the right thing you still get fucked over.

How so?

I accidentally killed one. One.

And this happens. [He picks off a slice of apple]

Edited 2011-11-29 06:45 (UTC)

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[Video] where are you on aiiimm.

[Video] I'm signed on

Re: [Video] I'm signed on

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