Case #31: Voice

[19centconstable]

Detective Hoffman: I'm going to be your warden!

[George sounds quite pleased.]

...

I'm going to wait to read your file until after I've eaten, if that's alright.

Er. Did anyone else happen to speak to someone who knew me over the weekend? I spoke to a very nice dog...

Comments

[scentbombed]

Er... nothing. [She rubs her eyes, waking up a bit.] Thank you, George.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Did you have any interesting sorts of dreams?

[scentbombed]

Well, there was the one where the entire Watch was made up of the undead... it was quite vivid, actually.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Did they seem put out about it?

[scentbombed]

No, no, they'd always been undead. Most of u-- them are born to it, where I'm from. Except the zombies, of course.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Yes, they're created by the Vodou.

What sorts of undead were they?

[scentbombed]

What's Vodou? I think Reg -- he's our actual Watch Zombie -- was just sort of created by pure determination, really. He's a very determined man.

Oh, all sorts. Our Commander was a... a vampire. [Which had been an awful part of the dream, to be honest!] Captain Carrot was another werewolf, Fred was a zombie, Nobby was... unchanged, actually, but he's quite scary on his own.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

It's a sort of magic. They do it with chanting, and pins, and dolls.

What's a Nobby?

[scentbombed]

Ours is mostly done with... actually, I have no idea how they do it. [There is, in fact, voodoo on the Disc! But Angua remains clueless about it. Pff, Genuans.]

That's a very good question that I'm not entirely sure how to answer, but we're pretty sure he's a Corporal.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I...sorry?

[scentbombed]

He's just... a very strange man, is all. He's the only human I know who has to carry proof of species on him.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

That does sound strange. Where would one even get such proof?

[scentbombed]

I suppose he applied to the Patrician's office. I never really thought about it before.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

But everyone believes it, this proof? Despite his needing it.

[scentbombed]

Well... usually.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Do you?

[scentbombed]

Oh, most definitely. Only humans are that petty and small-minded. And I say that with... something resembling affection, of course.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Quite. And you would know from experience, of course...

[scentbombed]

[HOLD UP THERE, GEORGE.] I'm sorry?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

In being a human.

[scentbombed]

Oh.

[She opens her mouth to say something else, and stops, uncertain. She really should tell him, right? After all, it's not exactly a well-kept secret anymore, not after the hunt for the Admiral when she was running around with Ariadne holding her bloody clothes...

Except then she'd also have to tell him about Paris, and that idea is just awfully embarrassing. It was not, she thinks, her finest moment.]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[Side eye.]

[scentbombed]

[SIDE-EYEING THE SIDE-EYE.] Do you have something you want to ask me, Constable?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

...

...

...Are you a vampire?

[Swing and a miss.]

[scentbombed]

[HORROR. SO MUCH HORROR.] What?? Why would you possibly think that?

[On the bright side, this makes admitting the truth seem so much less awful.] Good gods, man, I'm a werewolf!