Case #1: Video

[19centconstable]

[The video screen is navy blue and slightly blurry. From off-screen a man speaks. He has an accent which, if you are familiar with such things, is easily identifiable as being from Newfoundland. If you are not so in the know, you may think it is Irish. Or British. Or fake. He declares:]

I...believe this device and I have reached an understanding...

[The expanse of navy moves back. You have been looking at a close up of the man's policeman uniform. Now it is visible from neck to about mid-thigh in all its old-fashioned, high-collared, many buttoned glory. Because while the device and George may have come to an understanding, George does not understand how to frame a shot.]

Well. I-...oh.

[As a sort of after thought, he reaches up out of frame. When his hands appear again they are holding his navy blue custodian helmet, which has a silver colored maple leaf on the front. He rests the helmet against his hip.]

I'm Constable George Crabtree, Toronto Constabulary, station #4, and I'm very pleased to be here and meet all of you. ...Although I suppose I haven't done that yet. But I'm sure I'll be pleased when I do!

I've seen an airship before, but I've never been on one...that I can remember. But it's really an experience; much smoother than being on a boat. I don't get seasick myself, but I have an aunt who can't stomach travel like that in the slightest. Just.

[Vomit-y hand motion.]

All over.

Anyway. I'm very impressed by this whole business! This "thingy" here.

[He shakes the communicator.]

But! Especially-

[And then everything is a blur as George, communicator in hand, is moving through his room. When he stops, you are greeted with a lovely shot of: a toilet. The sort with a wall mounted tank and pull chain. Then George turns the camera back on himself, and manages to actually aim it at his excitedly grinning face. He hooks a thumb in the toilet's direction.]

Now that's fantastic! Did everybody get one?

Comments

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

No. I'm sorry. It's all I could think of, suddenly. It's just that I've never even heard of anybody who could do anything like that before.

...Well, Jesus a little bit, but I think His personality stayed the same.

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

Jesus didn't regenerate, though. At least, not like Time Lords do. His body stayed the same, didn't it?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

It was dead, and then... Does that count?

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

I don't think so, I think that's simple resurrection. Besides, Jesus had one heart.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

How many have you got?

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

Two!

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Two! ...Wait, how do you know?

[George just assumes all his non-visible bits are there in the correct number and proportion.]

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

Well I have a double pulse. And aside from that, you can simply take an x-ray of my chest.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

That's remarkable. You know, we recently arrested a circus for murder, and they had a pair of twins who were attached at the hip, so it was a bit like they had two of everything. ...Or four. ...Or twenty.

Do the other you's have two hearts as well?

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I only have two hearts.

Of course they do, they're me!

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Oh, I wasn't worried. I was speaking about fingers.

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

I've got ten of those.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

That's probably for the best. It seems as though more would be more useful, but they might just as easily get in the way. And you'd never be able to get gloves.

[doctor-scarf.livejournal.com]

Well you could get gloves, but they'd have to be custom-made.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

And at great expense.