19centconstable: (Queen Victoria in a bank vault.)
[George is eating an orange. And so can you!

He's also thirty-one again. Yes, George is thirty-one. I know.]

I don't think anyone was poorly done by that, were they? It is a bit strange to recall that I couldn't have even pictured myself as a police officer at that age, as now I can't picture myself as being anything else. Besides a detective, obviously. And a writer.

[George chews thoughtfully.]

Although...I don't believe any of the lads back home always yearned to join the constabulary. Not at our station, anyway. I am pleased it's something modern children seem to dream of.

...I also think you all might appreciate indoor plumbing just a bit more than you do. It really is fantastic.
19centconstable: ([Kid!] You aren't my hat's real father.)
[Someone is holding the communicator carelessly in one hand, as though they don't know it's on. The floor passes by slowly under the camera's lens. Whoever they are, they're walking hesitantly toward something. Bathroom tile appears, and then: the base of the toilet.]

Sweet wounded Jesus. I've died and gone to heaven.

[It's a boy speaking; his voice soft and high, his accent somewhere between Irish, British, and Pirate.

In other words: George Crabtree.]
19centconstable: (I detect wine.)
[It's an extreme close up of a Victorian constable! George has accidentally turned the camera on himself while picking up his communicator in an attempt to figure out what the strange device is. He looks a little older; a little stockier, because no one escapes the ravages of aging, and 1898 has been kind of a stressful year, what with all of the meth, and Draculas, and outwitting the American government. All of the brass on his uniform is also particularly shiny, and he's wearing a pair of white dress gloves and an expression of general confusion.

And then you can see it slowly dawn on him. And then there's a dizzying shot of the floor flying past as George hurries to make sure that...

Yes. The toilette remains.]

Oh my goodness I'm back.

[There's the sound of someone flopping back onto a bed, and a close up of a quilt. The quilt has the spotlight for a good few minutes, until George remembers the communicator is still running. Normal view!]

Could anybody tell me when it is here?
19centconstable: (Like the Mounties we always get our man.)
[The video screen is navy blue and slightly blurry. From off-screen a man speaks. He has an accent which, if you are familiar with such things, is easily identifiable as being from Newfoundland. If you are not so in the know, you may think it is Irish. Or British. Or fake. He declares:]

I...believe this device and I have reached an understanding...

[The expanse of navy moves back. You have been looking at a close up of the man's policeman uniform. Now it is visible from neck to about mid-thigh in all its old-fashioned, high-collared, many buttoned glory. Because while the device and George may have come to an understanding, George does not understand how to frame a shot.]

Well. I-...oh.

[As a sort of after thought, he reaches up out of frame. When his hands appear again they are holding his navy blue custodian helmet, which has a silver colored maple leaf on the front. He rests the helmet against his hip.]

I'm Constable George Crabtree, Toronto Constabulary, station #4, and I'm very pleased to be here and meet all of you. ...Although I suppose I haven't done that yet. But I'm sure I'll be pleased when I do!

I've seen an airship before, but I've never been on one...that I can remember. But it's really an experience; much smoother than being on a boat. I don't get seasick myself, but I have an aunt who can't stomach travel like that in the slightest. Just.

[Vomit-y hand motion.]

All over.

Anyway. I'm very impressed by this whole business! This "thingy" here.

[He shakes the communicator.]

But! Especially-

[And then everything is a blur as George, communicator in hand, is moving through his room. When he stops, you are greeted with a lovely shot of: a toilet. The sort with a wall mounted tank and pull chain. Then George turns the camera back on himself, and manages to actually aim it at his excitedly grinning face. He hooks a thumb in the toilet's direction.]

Now that's fantastic! Did everybody get one?

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Constable George Crabtree

March 2021

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