Case #24: Video

[19centconstable]

[George is seated at his tea table, which is serving as a writing desk at the moment. A copy of the book Carmilla is in front of him.]

Um. I'd like to know who here is, or has ever been a vampire, or has had intim-...particular experi-...contact wi-...knows a lot about vampires. I'd like to speak to all of you, if possible. There are a few things I'd like to ask about.

[George notices the book in front of him, and tries to move it discreetly off screen, so no one is distracted by it's sexiness.]

Comments

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Very well. In your experience:
Do vampires have saliva?
Do vampires feel any sort of specific regard for the neck?
Does this continue once the person to whom the neck belongs is no longer alive?
Can vampires fly?
Can vampires float?
Does a vampire's hair grow?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah.

No, they'll bite anywhere with a vein.

They only have any interest in a living person's blood. I mean, I guess if they drain them they might not be living when they die, but I think it's like...the body heat and beating heart that draws their attention.

No.

No.

...I think so? I don't know.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Where do you know vampires from?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

I used to date one back home, and I know some here. Intimately, like you were going to say.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I wasn't going to say that.

How long did you court?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Uh...I wouldn't exactly call it courting.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

What would you call it?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

With the thing on the Barge or before the Barge?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Before. I can certainly see courtship being complicated here.

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Well...it was dating, and the actual dating was like...a year, but it's kind of fuzzy because with vampires relationships can be a little less exclusive, because of course they drink from other people, and drinking leads to...you know.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Death?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

I was going to say sex. I mean, I guess death too, if they take too much.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I see.

You weren't...jealous?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Not really. I think because I knew he was a vampire, and I know that's what vampires do.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

...

...

...he?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

...yeah? You got a problem with that?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Well. Yes.

[At least he's honest.]

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

...seriously? Why?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Because it's against the law. And God's will.

[Although...just as the Bible says nothing about diddling with aliens, it also conveniently leaves out anything about vampire schtupping. Jesus' friends should have been more specific. Where is Biff when you need him?]

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

For one thing, it's not against the law, and for another, apparently it wasn't enough against God's will to bother Henry. He was a really strong Catholic, too.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

A Catholic vampire?

[How does that work?]

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

Yeah. He'd go to confession and everything.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

But how?

[tadwizard.livejournal.com]

What--oh, holy things don't bother vampires where I'm from. And in Toronto the sun sets pretty early in winter and rises pretty late, so he probably just works around that. Well, Vancouver now, but still.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I'm from Toronto myself.

That's quite different. So only the sun bothers them?