Case #8: Video

[19centconstable]

[George is COMPLETELY DRESSED. So dressed. He also looks slightly pink and wrinkly, like he's spent too long in the bathtub.]

I've been in the tub.

[For two days, apparently. And still so unclean. His hair is also not parted and slicked down as usual, and is currently making a sort of wild, fluffy, dark halo around his face. The ends curl a bit. George's hair may eat combs. George is too sulky to do anything about it. This flood has tested even his unwavering positivity.]

I want to apologize for...

...

...everything.

[A curt nod, and the camera is switched off.]

...

[Then switched back on again.]

I would just like to say, also, just so you know, that I am never...unclothed, not even underneath my clothes.

...I'm getting back in the tub.

[The camera is switched off.]

...

[Aaaaaaand switched on again. He's here, he might as well. George clears his throat.]

Who...does...the art?

Comments

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Why did I get called a...um...[She goes to find it again.] nun?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

[George hides his face in his hands.]

I'm sure I don't know, Miss Brunswick, besides that nuns are all very nice and determined ladies in my estimation.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Jane.

It's a very strange profession.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

It's more of a calling, I believe.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

What do you mean by that?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Those in religion feel that God has called them to their posts, and there was never any question of what they might do.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

I still don't really understand the concept of religion. Or gods.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

It's quite simple if you don't think about it too much. Would you like to look at my Bible?

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

What's a bible?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

It's the word of God. He told it to some people and they wrote it down, because...well, he was quite busy being God.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Is it a Rulebook?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

A bit like one, but it's in the form of stories. Which are more interesting.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

What sorts of Rules are there?

What happens if you break them?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Well, things like: don't worship anybody else, because that's rude. And don't use The Lord's name in vain. And go to church on Sundays. And respect your parents and elders. And don't murder people. And don't be with anybody who isn't your spouse. Don't steal. Don't lie. And don't be a covet-er, because nobody likes that.

And if you break them, your soul can't go to Heaven.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

[Pause because that requires a LOT of dictionary looking.] What's a soul? And where's Heaven?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Your soul is...the part of you that's you. It lives inside you, and you can't see it, and when you die it flies away.

Heaven is where it flies to. Or tries to, anyway.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Well what do you think makes you you. And how do you explain that people's bodies weigh less after they've died?

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

I've never weighed someone before and after they've died. And...we're made of...

[Sigh.] It doesn't matter. There is nothing in your body that flutters off to some mystical place.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Oh, but it does.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

How can you go anywhere after you die? You're...dead.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Your body has died. But your soul never does.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Well, what does a soul look like, then?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Nothing. You can't see them.

[thebestnose.livejournal.com]

Then how do you know they exist? Because the Rulebook says so?