Case #7: Video

[19centconstable]

[He looks like George, and he sounds like George (Brett's accent is, in fact, even more pronounced-ly NF&L), but he's clearly not George. You can tell because he's not wearing a shirt. It's also entirely possible, nay probable, that he is not wearing pants, but he's only visible from the waist up. You're welcome or I'm sorry, whichever is applicable.]

Alright, b'y. If I'da known jail was this sexy, I wouldn'ta plead off on community service.

[Brett, even on camera, gives the impression he sees you, and is undressing you with his eyes.]

Brett Babcock: "The Smoking Gun". Real estate is the game. If you're sellin': give me a call. If you're buyin': give me a call. If you're lookin' for a good time: you give me a call too.

[A wink, and he points a finger gun at the camera. Boom, b'y.]

Comments

[batmanschmatman]

George, you are going to be so embarrassed when this is all over.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Where is this George feller to, b'y? I can't think of anything better than two of me.

[batmanschmatman]

I think you're gonna end up missing him. Sorry.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Don't take this wrong, eh? But aren't you a little young for sexy jail?

[batmanschmatman]

This isn't "sexy jail", it's the Barge. And the Admiral thinks I'm old enough to be a warden, so I'm here.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Right on. How's she going?

[batmanschmatman]

She?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

The wardening, b'y.

[batmanschmatman]

My inmate's a guy. What are you, retarded? This isn't some sex prison.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Didn't think they weren't, didn't think they weren't. Just how we say things, right?

[If Brett had ever wanted kids, which he never has, you would be exactly the sort of son Brett has always wanted, Dick.]

[batmanschmatman]

I guess. [You confuse him, No Pants Man Who Looks Like George.]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

[George will be even more confused when he wakes up wearing guy-liner.]

Me, I'm a bit jealous I only got a grown-up probation officer. The man is dull. As. Water.

[batmanschmatman]

Why are you on probation?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I blew up a trailer on my ex-wife's construction site. It was this game we did.

[batmanschmatman]

Weird game.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

We like what we like.