19centconstable | (no subject)

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[George sits in his room, distractedly twisting his helmet in his hands. Being a helmet, it doesn't twist very much at all, but he doesn't seem to notice.]

I'm...pleased to report that I did manage to remain myself after all during this most recent event. I had thought that I had at the time, but it can be difficult to tell. I've been mistaken before. But not...now. In case anyone was wondering.

Is, er, is everyone alright? Anyone? Everyone?

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Things do get a bit hairy now and again.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Duo. I'm Constable George Crabtree.

If we're going formalities, than it'd be Mr. Maxwell. Otherwise just call me Duo, okay?

George, huh?

And yeah, that's what I've been hearing.

Some cases I'm guessing it gets literally hairy as well. [He chuckles.]

In quite a few, actually. I'd have to ask someone to do a bit of math, but I'd wager on at least half of the cases doing so.

...Can you elaborate a little?

Sorry, I'd only meant that there have been a good many situations where people find themselves possessed of more hair than usual.

I've never grown a beard myself, though.

I heard a few folk got turned into animals. So you're sayin' that happens often?

Well, it does happen. And everyone recently became pirates, who do tend towards the more hirsute.

I dunno if I should laugh or be concerned for my sanity. Survey says the latter, but it's still kinda funny.

Sometimes. In retrospect, it is a bit.

But other times it always remains quite not funny at all.

Yeaah.

I've kinda been getting that vibe. I keep thinking they'd do those things only to inmates but apparently us wardens have a thing or two to learn as well.

One has to be able to relate, of course. And it would be terribly confusing and difficult to help someone who was never themselves.

I just feel that I've worn more than enough dresses to last a lifetime.

You got a point there... [The whole flood chaos nonsense was becoming a little more clear to him now. As far as a purpose.]

Wait... What?

Yes? Sorry?

Dresses?

Oh. Yes.

I believe that is self-explanatory, isn't it?

You... Ah...

Yeah. Sympathies, man. Sympathies.

I do appreciate that.

I also turned into a pig once.

Chance are I'll end up bein' somethin' worse, if that's the case.

Did anyone make stupid little piggy jokes at you?

No, everyone was rather kind, actually. But I'd still prefer not to repeat the experience.

So this happens often?

At least once a month, I must admit.

But it isn't all bad, of course. We also get to explore fantastical planets and meet people's very nice friends and relatives.

So that time again is soon approaching huh? I'm just glad I missed it this round. Makes it easier to get used to this place.

Oh yeah. Ports, right? Wonder how they're gonna port on a space colony if they ever visit my home.

It may be, although they don't go off like clockworks.

Well. Much of the time, we crash...

Thaaaaaat would... not be a good thing.

Can I just ask to never ever go to my world if that's the case?

You...can make requests of the Admiral, certainly...