19centconstable | Case #46: Video

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Case #46: Video

[See this icon? This icon is George exactly. Sat at his table. Head in his hand. Not looking terribly amused.]

Well. If I ever wear a dress again, it will be quite too soon.

[If you are keeping track, that's twice in one month now.]

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Fozzie Bear is the name of a Muppet. And actually Fozz here will end up almost bear sized. You know, like Newfoundlands do?

I need to show you the Muppet Show. This needs to happen. It will explain all and be amusing as well.

[A tail wags into view]

Good dog!

A...muppet...?

Once upon a time there was a puppeteer named Jim Henson who really loved kids. He and his crew made a television show called The Muppet Show, with all sorts of different puppets. It was awesome. Cute, but smart too. Fozzie was a bear who wanted to be a comedian. [She hooks the leash to Fozzie's collar with her other hand.]

Well, I do suspect being a bear might have stood in his way some. He might have done better in a circus act.

Actually the problem was that his jokes were terrible.

I'll meet you on deck.

[...What are you implying, Wanda?

George is waiting on deck, looking particularly buttoned up in his uniform.]

[Wanda's up there, easy to pick out in her bright red coat, and with the now considerably larger ball of black fluff with her. Said ball of fluff starts dancing back and forth when he sees George.]

Ooo, do you see someone? Better go say hello! Go on, Fozz!

[Fozzie scrambles over, skids to a stop and play-bows so hard his back legs practically lift off the ground.]

[George crouches just as enthusiastically and gets to petting.]

Hey boy!

[George always looks happiest when speaking to a dog.]

[Said pup wags extremely hard and has to fight not to jump up in that way the overenthusiastic but well trained do, all whining and little hops. Wanda comes over, smiling for once.]

Got a fan, there, George. [She fishes a fresh tennis ball out of her sleeve and offers it.]

[George is just the sort of person who wouldn't mind be jumped up on; a scourge to all puppy owners.]

A very handsome fan.

[He gestures to the ball.]

Will he retrieve it? My Violet mostly retrieves shoes. Even when she hasn't been asked to.

Well, he gets a little confused sometimes, but he does it eight out of ten. What sorta dog is Violet again?

[George straightens up almost reluctantly.]

Brownish. Lady-like.

[That is the sort of dog she is.]

Standard Brown Doggie, huh? Probably a very happy dog too.

I specifically asked for an Ovchartka. The idea was that I was going to have this big badass guard dog to make me feel safer. But he showed up a puppy, so I spent six months training both of us instead.

[Fozzie leans. Yeah, I'm terrifying.]

Even quite a small dog can make an excellent guard dog. They're very quick and can have ferocious bites.

You've got a point. I just had this idea of a dog so huge I could hide behind him. Heh.

The Chinese bred one kind of dog to hide up their sleeves and pop out to bite the heck out of people.

[Fozzie whiiiiiiiines. You has a ball. I can has ball?]

[George is all eyes over that idea.]

Did they really?

[He glances down at Fozzie.]

It seems as though he'd like to give the fetching a shot.

The Pekingese. I gotta tell you, I could have used one of those when I was living back home.

[Fozzie bounces in place and lolls entirely too much tongue. Yes please!]

Heh. Better not keep him in too much more suspense.

...Because you were beset by the Chinese?

[He tosses the ball gently off down the deck.]

No, because I lived with four teenage guys with superpowers who were sometimes really obnoxious. Especially this one dude.

[Fozzie scrambles after the ball happily, tail up.]

But that's history now.

What did he do, particularly?

He was kind of the opposite of you in a lot of ways, actually. No manners, no sense of personal space, terrible hygiene. He wanted me, but instead of courting me he went straight to telling everyone that we were dating and trying to act like it when I was around him.

[George wrinkles his nose.]

That is terribly forward of him. Why did he believe it might win you over?

I honestly don't know. [Here comes Fozzie with Ball. Unfortunately he forgets to drop it for several confused seconds. Derp, there was something I was supposed to do...]

Drop it, Fozz. Anyway, he was just...not really all that right in the head when it came to me.

He does sounds a bit off. But romantic notions can addle the mind.

[George likes to flirt with ladies by accidentally injuring himself.]

Guys getting romantically addled are cute. This guy...not so much. [She snaps her fingers and Fozzie drops the ball at George's feet.]

Case #46: Video

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