Case #29: Video

[19centconstable]

[It's an extreme close up of a Victorian constable! George has accidentally turned the camera on himself while picking up his communicator in an attempt to figure out what the strange device is. He looks a little older; a little stockier, because no one escapes the ravages of aging, and 1898 has been kind of a stressful year, what with all of the meth, and Draculas, and outwitting the American government. All of the brass on his uniform is also particularly shiny, and he's wearing a pair of white dress gloves and an expression of general confusion.

And then you can see it slowly dawn on him. And then there's a dizzying shot of the floor flying past as George hurries to make sure that...

Yes. The toilette remains.]

Oh my goodness I'm back.

[There's the sound of someone flopping back onto a bed, and a close up of a quilt. The quilt has the spotlight for a good few minutes, until George remembers the communicator is still running. Normal view!]

Could anybody tell me when it is here?

Comments

[Private] [Video] You can accidentally say the word "abreast".

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I had thought of that, actually.

Perhaps it's time I got a deal.

[Private] [Video] And here Hoffman thought he didn't talk dirty.

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

[Hoffman laughs] I thought you guys all came aboard with one.

[Private] [Video] Sometimes he says bollocks too.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I couldn't think of anything I wanted that I wouldn't feel badly for having handed to me.

[Private] [Video] you cheeky bastard Crabtree.

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

[Hoffman studies his hands]

You're a rare fucking bird George Crabtree.

[Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Er. Am I? But I turned into a pig that time...

Oh, I wish I had continued not remembering that.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

[Hoffman laughs. He continues to laugh for a good solid minute before holding up a hand and wiping a tear from his eye. He has a genuine smile on his face, a very real happy expression.]

You turned into a pig?

...I'm glad one of us did.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Yes, I've been told it's some sort of policeman joke, but I still don't understand it. I just found it terribly embarrassing.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

[Hoffman frowns] It's not a fucking flattering one. Made by ignorant jackasses who want to hurt hard-working cops feelings. Most cops were..

[He stares down at his now flat stomach. Somewhat flat at least] Fat. And people would bribe them with apples and donuts.

[Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Well donuts are delicious.

But accepting bribes is awful.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

Yeah see but some guys don't know when to stop. Like me for instance. There's nothing wrong with it mind you but uh..

[He scratches his head] I agree with you about the bribes though. No matter what people might think of me on this damn boat I never took a goddamn bribe.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

You know, I had actually begun to worry about my waist-line here because the food is so rich and plentiful and I don't get as much regular exercise. I was going to ask Mr. Spinola what one does in a gymnasium. Specifically, I mean. I know generally how one works.

[Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

[Hoffman looks amused] They don't have gyms in the Victorian times?

I'll show you. I go pretty regularly. I used to be pretty damn fit too. Lupin ah..

[Frown] Lupin insisted I go. Anger problems.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

No, we do, I've just never felt the need to join one. Because I run and lift things quite a lot on the job, you see.

I can see how that would be helpful.

[Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

...Well so did I but you know.

...You ever had to go hand-to-hand with a guy?

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

So you go to the gym for that. Get stronger and practice fighting but mostly get stronger. Best cops go to seed even after awhile.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Boxing, you mean? I just don't feel comfortable hitting someone for no good reason. They'd have to commit a crime, or be a cad.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

...Cad?

..what's a Cad.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

A heartless womanizer.

[Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

...You take girls really seriously huh? It's refreshing.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

I was raised by aunts. A lot of aunts. I could tell you about all of them sometime when you have several free hours.

[Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

I remember hearing about aunts. It can't be worse then being raised by social workers in the system.

[Hoffman absentmindedly massages his hand as he talks, looking down at his fingers and back at George]

Kerry'd like you. Perez too probably.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

The system? I don't think being raised by them was bad at all.

Oh?

Re: [Private] [Video]

[expectremorse.livejournal.com]

Raised by the foster care system.

My dad killed my mother. [Hoffman's tone is serious] And was arrested. We had no family to take us in so...I was raised by a bunch of shrinks paid by the state.

Re: [Private] [Video]

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

At a boy's home?

Was...the drink to blame?