19centconstable | Case # 30: Video

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Case # 30: Video

[George is dressed casually for George. No uniform, and no jacket. His shirt-sleeves are rolled up, and his hair is untidy. He has Howie's motorcycle, and several books about motorcycles out on the floor around him, where he is sitting.]

Is it just me, or has everyone been a bit quiet today? Is there something going on that I'm unaware of?

I suspect it must be something very good, as I would have heard of something awful, where as I certainly can't blame people for being distracted away from their devices, if, say, the Admiral has given everyone a puppy.

[George looks pleased. And then very thoughtful.]

...

But then of course, I would wonder: where is my puppy?

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[Oh, Hoffman. That is not how you love.]

Yes. I've always had a dog. Well, I've had her for three years, I just didn't bring her on board with me, because she's getting on in years, and also she violates shoes.

Sergeant Howie left me his motorbike when he...moved on.

[Real men love with booze.]

...I want a dog. I've always wanted a dog. Too many people don't play with their dogs in public. Do you miss her?

[long pause]

...You're gonna learn how to ride a motorbike?

[All the skepticalness.]

Yes, I do. And I have ridden it, actually. It wasn't terrible difficult. I ride a bicycle nearly everywhere back home.

[George cocks his head to the side.]

Are you feeling alright, Detective? You sound a bit...

[Drunk.]

...tired.

[snort] bicycle's more your speed. You need a motorbike. Like the Hell's Angels or the Sons of Anarchy. You don't look like an Anarchist anti-christ at all. I'll get you a leather jacket for Christmas. That's a start. Then you need a tattoo. I busted lots of bikers. Put on fifty pounds in the gut-

[he taps his own gut] and shave your head. then you can ride the motorcycle.

[Hoffman's hair is tostled and he looks...doped up. Ironically he looks incredibly relaxed and calm at the same time. His hand is bandaged and he's sitting up in bed.

He glares.]

...'m fine. What should I do. Do I not look fine? I think 'm fine.

I'd...prefer not to.

I'm sure, but I also think it's a good idea to have a bit of a rest in bed, to encourage the body to heal.

...Why not? Iron Horses. Not the Sons. Sons're out west. Iron Horses. Those are the guys I'm talking about.

[Hoffman's eyes might be slightly glazed.] Iron horsemen. You ride horses right?

I'm going to tell you a secret. Horses scare me. They scare the crap out of me. Not dogs. You should bring your dog.

[frown] I don't want to rest. I slept all day and then I had dinner and work and I've been drinking. I don't like being laid up.

I meant the...fat. And hair. I've had to clip my hair very short before; it's quite embarrassing.

I...have ridden on a horse. His name was Whitey. Also we had a shetland pony when I was a lad, but we didn't really ride on it.

Ah.

[That explains your drunkeness.]

No one does, I'm afraid.

...Then you gotta mess your hair up. And you still need to get a tattoo.

They say every kid wants a pony. Is it freaking true? Do ponies make childhoods? Did him being here enrich your life?

[George smoothes his hair automatically.]

They can be rather ill tempered. One time he got loose and stood up on the porch for some time. There was no displacing him.

[Hoffman's lips tilt up in a smirk. Except. Ponies.]

In central park they have pony rides for kids. I went to one once and the pony did just kind of stare. They're pointless.

You should have a dog though. With you. Go get the Admiral to get him.

..I guess you could be a motorcycle cop. Clean cut hair-we gotta get you some new shoes though. Those guys were some of the toughest most bad-ass motherfuckers I ever had the opportunity to work with.

Her. Her name is Violet.

[George looks down at his police-issue steel-toed boots.]

That's pretty. I screwed a girl named Violet once. She was also pretty. I like the name Violet.

[Hoffman sees you there.] Get you a uniform and a better gun and a helmet. Do you at least have a helmet? Then we can pull people over and right them ticket-tickets.

[Hoffman leans back against the bed. Hngh.]

A young lady named her. And yes, of course.

[He drags his constable's helmet into frame and knocks on it with his knuckles.]

But we don't normally carry guns, Detective.

[CANADIANS.]

..How the fuck're you a cop without a gun?

Well we have got an armory when we need one.

...yeah but you don't carry one with you?

[pause] ...might be a good thing I mean I know plenty of guys who break after they shoot a guy.

Motorcycle first.

Not every day. I have got a club?

Right. Yes. I'm just trying to get a better idea of the mechanics.

...For hitting things.

[Oh! Oh! A light goes on and Hoffman stumbles off his bed. There's rummaging for a good few moments before he emerges with a very worn book. Zen and the Art of motorcycle matinence.]

You need to read this.

It will make you think and it has motorcycles.

Yes?

[George beams.]

Thank you very much Detective. I'll be sure to read it immediately.

You can have this copy. Someone gave it to me once and they said that you had to pass it down in order for it to work properly. It's got alot of pholoso-

philosoph.

philosophy. [sputter blurrrgh.]

[eyerub] you just have to passs it on.

I'll do that as well.

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Case # 30: Video

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