Case #7: Video

[19centconstable]

[He looks like George, and he sounds like George (Brett's accent is, in fact, even more pronounced-ly NF&L), but he's clearly not George. You can tell because he's not wearing a shirt. It's also entirely possible, nay probable, that he is not wearing pants, but he's only visible from the waist up. You're welcome or I'm sorry, whichever is applicable.]

Alright, b'y. If I'da known jail was this sexy, I wouldn'ta plead off on community service.

[Brett, even on camera, gives the impression he sees you, and is undressing you with his eyes.]

Brett Babcock: "The Smoking Gun". Real estate is the game. If you're sellin': give me a call. If you're buyin': give me a call. If you're lookin' for a good time: you give me a call too.

[A wink, and he points a finger gun at the camera. Boom, b'y.]

Comments

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

You are different now.

What are you selling? What is real estate?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Real estate? It's real estate, b'y. Houses. Buildings. Land.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

You're not selling sex?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Sex? No, b'y, that's free.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

I thought that...you are a confusing man. You sell land, but you give away sex.

Is that part of your job? The sex is given with land and houses?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Yes. Me, I like to mix business and pleasure.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

Does your business suffer for it?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Not at all. I'm still the top agent in town, even after my ex tried to frame me for murder.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

Why would your...ex...do this?

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Because she's straight warped, right. Great in the sack, but fully warped.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

Straight warped? ...insane? She is insane?

Lunatics are usually uninhibited, yes. The sex is better, though more dangerous.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Exactly.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

You are fortunate. There are many lunatics here.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Yeah, there's a guy goin' around in a bear costume.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

I don't know him. He must be new.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Are you into that?

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

Bear costumes? No, I am not "into" that.

[19centconstable.livejournal.com]

Me, I'm not either, but I'll give almost anything a shot once.

[leadsthestars.livejournal.com]

Then I hope you will find the man in the bear costume.